Sundays are my biggest poker days. I usually play about 8 tables at a time, sprinkling in 12 early in the day. Though playing this many tables reduces variance and increases my chances of hitting a nice cash, it can backfire in some instances. Here is an example from yesterday:
Its about 1:15 P.M. and I am just beginning to recover from another night of moderate/heavy drinking and downing 1/2 of a large pizza from Gary's Pizzaria. I have 12 tables going, 4 of which are sngs and another 2 of which are sattys. I am 4 handed or less in all the sngs and the blinds are huge in the sattys (turbo rebuys for the 100k). (to those non poker players out there, this basically means that I have to make 6 fast decisions at the same time, and each one is essential to winning or losing money). I am frantically clicking buttons and darting my head back and forth when all of a sudden it hits....
Anyone who has ever topped off a night of drunkeness with a fat, greasy pizza knows exactly what "it" is. "It" is a form of the most ungodly, foul-smelling, sloppy shit you have ever witnessed.
It came without warning, causing me to jolt forward in my chair. Panicked, my eyes darted towards the bathroom a mere ten feet away. However, I was frozen in place, shackled by 12 flashing screens, all holding the promise of fortune. Greed held me captive in my chair.
Moments passed as I tried desperately to control my sphincter for just 15 more minutes. My efforts proved to be useless when, at the exact moment that I trapped a guy with the nut straight to win a $530 seat, I helplessy shit my pants.
The fecal matter quickly seeped towards the edge of my shorts, finding a resting place on the black leather chair beneath me.
Broken, ashamed, disheartened, and alone, I sat crying in a pile of my own shit for the next 20 minutes while I finished the rest of my session.
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